To all of you bicycle club losers - GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE ROAD!!!!!
You are not Greg fucking LeMond. And when you dress like him, you are no different from that fat guy in shipping who wears eye blac
k and his high school baseball pants to his bar's softball games. You do not look good in lycra. Nobody does, except Shania Twain. And even if a herd of Shania Twains decided to ride their bikes in the middle of the fucking road at ten miles per hour I would lay on the horn and flip them off, too.Suburban Minneapolis is not the French countryside, and your little bike club is NOT the Tour de Fucking France. This is the United States of America, and people drive their cars to get places. Like work. And unlike France where nobody does anything productive, if we're late for work or a client meeting because a group of you morons takes up half of the fucking road, the government doesn't mandate that we keep our jobs.
So do us all a huge favor and either stay on the fucking sidewalk or shoul
der so we can pass you without fighting the urge to run you down like feral cats. Or go find another cute hobby that encourages its participants to look like imbecilic halfwits but keeps them out of the fucking way. Like competitive fishing.Phew. I feel better now.
5 comments:
That must have felt really good. How did you get it to show up in red? Nice touch - it definitely helped convey the rage.
As for the content of your rant, I am right with you. If you think it's bad where you are, you should try driving down Minnehaha Parkway sometime. The thing that makes it even more maddening that the bikers take over the parkway is the fact that THEY ALREADY HAVE A FUCKING BIKE PATH!! Personally, I feel that if the bikers want to be on the road with the cars, instead of on a bike path, they should be willing to be treated like cars. Which means that they should occasionally have to deal with me rear-ending them at stoplights (because sometimes that happens, after all). It's only fair that way.
I thought this was a family oriented blog.
You should have checked to see if any of them had overstayed their Visa.
There are these two guys at work who are in a cycling club and they tell this story about how they got in a big argument with a driver along Minnehaha Parkway. Every time they tell this story I slouch down in my chair because I am pretty sure that the guy they were arguing with was either my husband or my dad.
And yes, both of those cycling coworkers are US citizens. I would suspect that MOST of those guys who spend $5,000 on their two-pound bikes are from the US. Probably straight out of Sloan's hood.
This blog is old and dead. What a shame.
Did I ever tell you guys about the time the Park Police showed up at my house, harassed me, talked to my Dad, and threatened to arrest me because my car was involved in the alleged harassment of some female biker on Minnehaha Parkway?
Apparently some gravel or something flew off my tires and hit her. She got my license plate, and later told the Park Police she was so upset by the incident that she fell off her bike a few blocks later.
Turns out she lived just off Minnehaha Parkway by herself. With her 22 cats. Go figure. Feel free to run her down if she's ever strays off the path and onto the street again Koz.
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