A few years back, I noticed a strange phenomenon. Local newscasts and my hometown paper began reporting accidents involving SUVs as though the vehicles were living organisms performing dastardly deeds on their own:
"SUV Rolls, Kills Family of Four"
"Pedestrian Crippled as SUV Hops Curve"
"SUV Plows through Outdoor Market, Maiming 14"
As an SUV owner, I began to wonder if this was a concerted effort to demonize these vehicles or if 2-door sedans were just better-behaved. So I wrote a letter to the editor.
In it, I politely stated my case that unless the SUVs themselves were malcontents, weren't the drivers responsible for these calamities? Or is this just a politically-motivated attempt to stigmatize this vehicle genre by Group-Thinking Vehicle Nazis?
The paper published my letter, but of course parsed it to make me look like a rabid anti-PC revolutionary. My friends rib me to this day about the slogan I seem to have coined.
In reality, I'm no social agitator. What I am is a sales manager & father of two boys -- Benjamin & Henry (aka BENRY). My wife Pretty and I live in suburban Minneapolis, where I do my best to behave.
I'm starting this blog because my good friend at Whataworld told me to. Guess that's as good a reason as any... Along with the ability to circumvent those snot-nosed commie bastards at the Star-Tribune!
Should be fun...
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Because SUVs don't kill people -- the idiots who drive them do.
7 comments:
Awesome. I love it. This will show those commie bastards! Keep it up. There are actually a lot of things I haven't figured out how to do yet (but Jill has), like making your links "live" - so that if people click on them, they can go to that site (Jill helped me do that in my most recent post). She also knows how to set up links and other stuff like that on your home page. Anyway, welcome to blogging! It's fun, isn't it?
Work? What work?
Hey ckoz. Arsenic doesn't kill people, people who drink it do.
Wait. . . that's not a good analogy. Doesn't really make my point does it? I'll work on a better one. Cancer doesn't kill people. . . . I give up.
By the way: Sometimes I call my Baby Girl "Pretty," but then I stop myself because that name is already taken.
Try Foxy.
"...to make me look like a rabid anti-PC revolutionary" You mean you aren't one?
OK, I have to stick up for Suburbans here. There are just limited options when your family includes 6 or more people. Yeah, minivans, but what about luggage, or baseball equipment, or carpools, or dogs, or hockey gear (over my dead body, but you get my point)? It just doesn't all fit!! If we keep having kids, we're going to have to get a church van (shudder)!
We could start talking about over-population and lack of self-control, but that's another subject altogether.
Of course, then there's my sister, who had to get a Suburban because her dog likes to sit in the front seat, but we won't talk about that either. :-)
Glad to see you in the blogosphere!
Hey - My dog is an important family member. . . wait. . . I guess I realized after my daughter was born that my dog is really. . . just a dog. But she does need a spot to sit in the car - right?
Hi ckoz
from 'middle sis'
mamadala - I'll tone it down now that I've attracted a female readership base. However, I must say -- KEEP 'EM COMING! Someone's gotta help us keep pace with the Muslim world. (Take that, Ehrlich!)
And middle sis - Depending who in the GTVN cult you'll talk to, you'll learn that "Dogs are people too", "How dare you enslave a sentient being for your personal pleasure - Set it free", or "Get out of your f'ing car and walk, you rich, lazy suburbanite.
I say, get a Hummer -- you can probably fit the dog in the front seat.
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