Boys' Academic Achievement to Skyrocket

#1’s birthday falls in the middle of summer. When he turned 7 two years ago, we took three of his cousins (at the time 13, 11 and 5, all boys) and his brother to Valleyfair. My retired uncle even flew in from Connecticut to celebrate.

It was terribly hot that day – over 100 and humid. When we weren’t at the water park, I spent much of the day hitting the bigger rollercoasters with the older boys.

What I remember most about that day was not bruising my internal organs on those insane rides. Nor was it blithely splashing about the waterslides for hours with the little guys.

Nope. At the risk of sounding like a hetero Mark Foley, or, worse yet, Democrat Perv Gerry Studds, my most vivid memories are of what members of the fairer sex wore. Every female, from 13 to 30, dressed like they were hitting an afterbar at Hedonism II. It was so surreal – armies of Britney/Paris aspirants roaming a family amusement park in trashy halter tops and microminis...

Girls Gone Wild/Six Flags.

My uncle proclaimed repeatedly that he was thankful he wore his sunglasses. Pretty recited multiple prayers to the God that brought us two boys. My 13 year-old nephew said... well, he couldn’t really formulate any words through that dumbstruck grin all day.

So what does this have to do with this post’s headline? Well, today I read that the Department of Education announced rules that will make it easier to create single-sex classrooms or entire same-sex schools.

It was bad enough in my day to focus on the chalkboard when the girls wore polo shirts and walking shorts... I can’t prove this, but I bet boys started becoming dumbshits when it became ok for girls to dress like hookers.

This announcement is a step in the right direction.

Global Warming Update - Twin Cities
10/24/06 Observed high temp - 45
10/24/05 Observed high temp - 45
10/24 Record high temp - 80 - 1989

Vote Yes?

I've seen a lot of these billboards around lately. "Vote Yes - For Better Roads and Transit".

I knew absolutely nothing about this issue (which probably makes sense since according to the media I'm the lone lunkhead planning to throw himself in front of the onrushing Liberal Locomotive next month…), so I decided to investigate.

First, I went to the website - Vote Yes Minnesota. Here, I learned that this is a push for a transportation amendment to the state’s constitution. If it passes, Minnesotans will reap the following orgasmic rewards:

Less time stuck in traffic!
Support for our rural economy!
Safer travel!
More jobs and stronger economy!
Cleaner environment!
More travel options!

Sounds heavenly! But still, being the only idiot stacking sandbags in front of the impending Democratic Deluge, I had questions. Like why do we need to amend the constitution to achieve such ecstasy when we already have a hefty $0.20/gallon state gas tax? Again, the website had answers:

Currently, only 54 percent of the existing motor vehicle sales tax revenue is being spent on transportation and there is no dedicated revenue source for public transit. If the Transportation Amendment is approved by voters, 100 percent of the revenue will go to highways and public transit.

OK. Although I am that single simpleton attempting to soak up the coming Tsunami of Sensitivity with a kitchen sponge, it’s starting to come into focus. (Key phrase – “…there is no dedicated revenue source for public transit…”) So how will it work? To find out, I read the amendment’s actual verbiage:

"Sec. 12. Beginning with the fiscal year starting July 1, 2007, 63.75 percent of the revenue from a tax imposed by the state on the sale of a new or used motor vehicle must be apportioned for transportation purposes described in section 13, then the revenue apportioned for transportation purposes must be increased by ten percent for each subsequent fiscal year through June 30, 2011, and then the revenue must be apportioned 100 percent for transportation purposes after June 30, 2011.

Sec. 13. The revenue apportioned in section 12 must be allocated for the following transportation purposes: not more than 60 percent must be deposited in the highway user tax distribution fund, and not less than 40 percent must be deposited in a fund dedicated solely to public transit assistance as defined by law."

Remember, I’m that solitary backward buttplug trying to stop up our upcoming Enema of Enlightenment. However, doesn’t “not more than 60%” toward highways and “not less than 40%” toward public transit mean that this amendment could potentially pave the way to nothing for roads and everything for boondoggle light rail lines?

Think I’m gonna have to vote NO on this one. Of course, I could have reached this conclusion by simply glancing at the bottom of the website, which features both Tim Pawlenty and Mike Hatch supporting the amendment.

Group-think always makes this feebleminded fool, this retardant to the approaching Progressive Pyre, nervous.

Global Warming Update - Twin Cities
10/23/06 Observed high temp - 39
10/23/05 Observed high temp - 48
10/23 Record high temp - 82 - 1899

An astute observation

From our well-read friend The Strongman. More Onion consumption is most definitely in order.

Here are some interesting, though not surprising headlines. A glance at the major news websites' top stories at 2:00 this afternoon:

FoxNews.com - Dow Breaks 12,000 for first time

CNN.com - Violence has Iraqis on the run

ABCNews.com - 10 U.S. Troops Killed in Iraq, 69 in October

CBSNews.com - 2 GI's Face Death Penalty for Rape, Murder

MSNBC.com - Courts-martial ordered in Iraq rape-murder case

DrudgeReport.com - N Korea informs China of plan to conduct 3 more nuke tests...

TheOnion.com - N. Korea Detonates 40 Years Of GDP

Global Warming Update - Twin Cities
10/17/06 Observed high temp - 55
10/17/05 Observed high temp - 66
10/17 Record high temp - 84 - 1910

Hand-Wringing Losers

Bored while working late yesterday, I clicked on a couple of articles concerning America's population reaching 300 million. I commented on one in USA Today (in bold below).The opinions submitted in response to mine, from both the left and the right, are entertaining - quite the fun-loving crowd.

It seems to me that two different issues are being addressed here.

The first is immigration. The second is resource management.

As for immigration, let anyone in who desires to contribute to this wonderful country. However, we must secure our borders and document everyone who wishes to benefit from our freedoms. Immigration is not bad; not knowing anything about the people you're letting in is suicide.

The state in which I reside, Minnesota, has only developed 3% of its land. I don't believe that's too far from the national percentage, so relax. We have plenty of space. And as for managing our resources, we're the most innovative achievers on the planet. Just look at the yield produced from an acre of farmland now vs. 30 years ago...

Don't listen to the likes of Dan Stein and Paul Ehrlich ("smog disasters will kill 200,000 in NY and LA", "the battle to feed humanity is over", "before 1985 mankind will enter a genuine age of scarcity"...). Hand-wringing losers both.

Posted by: Chris | Oct 16, 2006 6:36:45 PM

To Chris in Minnesota:
If your State has an endless amount of resources, then you shouldn't mind if we load up thousands of buses in San Diego, and send them all your way. There is no more room at the Hotel California; let's send all future immigrants to the little State on the prairie!!

Posted by: Brian | Oct 16, 2006 8:07:15 PM

I'm not too sure you're qualified to judge the effects of population explosion while living in Minnesota. Come to California and tell me about the benefits of unrestrained population growth. Come out here and assure me that everything will be okay, we have plenty of undeveloped land. Come out here and tell me how our power grid won't be stressed so badly that we have blackouts. Come out here to our schools, many of which are 80% Mexican, and tell me that American children are getting a good education (California is now tied for last in education, but was fifth in 1980). Come to California and reassure me that everything is going to be okay. Come to California and tell me not to listen to "the hand wringing losers".

Posted by: Chris D. | Oct 16, 2006 8:16:36 PM

Most Americans, myself included, do not object to a reasonable number of immigrants admitted into the U.S.A. each year. But the kind of mass immigration we have witnessed in this country in the last twenty years should not continue for another twenty years or the standard of living in the U.S. will erode and our infrastructure will be pushed to the breaking point. Do we want to see the United States be as crowded as China or India? I don't.

Posted by: Dan Phillips | Oct 16, 2006 9:14:57 PM

Dan Stein is right on with his article. I suggest everyone watch "Immigration Gumballs" at the following link: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5871651411393887069

If the link doesn't work, go to Google and type in "Immigration Gumballs Video" and it will be the first link which pops up.

This is a eye-opening presentation by Roy Beck of Numbersusa.com on the effect that legal immigrants are having on our society and environment. America is a compassionate nation and because of our compassion we have put our children and our grandchildren in peril, and most of us do not realize that we have done so.

This video appears to have been made in the mid 90's. In this video the 300,000,000 mark was not supposed to be reached until 2015. But here it is 9 years early. Keep this in mind as you watch the video, because that means the projections are all going to be proportionately higher based on that fact. Also keep in mind that illegal immigrants are not even discussed. We are presently allowing 1,000,000 legal immigrants in annually and Senate Bill 2611 increases that number even more. At the same time we are gaining at least 1,000,000 illegal immigrants annually--that number has steadily gone up with each passing year.

After watching this video I would encourage you to contact your Congressmen (Senate.gov and House.gov)and DEMAND a moratorium on immigration, which was done between 1924 and 1965. 100,000 has got to be the absolute limit for awhile. I would also encourage you to send the Gumballs link to all your friends; people need to be informed and the internet is our only hope.

Chris in Minnesota needs to know that the availability of land is minor. WATER is the big problem. Northern California already has to pipe water down to Southern California and if we haven't done so already, we will soon have to import water from Canada. And this is comparatively minor when one considers the societal problems and the strain on public services, as Mr. Stein states.

I grew up in the 50's and 60's and was a young adult in the 70's. Environmental concern was just beginning to emerge. In order to curb pollution and urban sprawl and to be better able to realize the American Dream, we were encouraged to aim for zero population growth. Which we did. And now we import millions and millions and millions. And these millions apparently do not practice birth control.

Had Johnson not opened the immigration flood gates in 1965, we could have expected a population in this country of 247 million in 2030. We will probably have 400 million by then. This is insanity and it has to be stopped. If you agree and do not contact your Congressmen, then you are part of the problem.

Posted by: Jackie | Oct 17, 2006 12:29:17 AM

"Minnesota, has only developed 3% of its land"

Is this to imply that the other 97% should be developed? Some of this land is not habitable. What about preserving open space and the environment for future generations? How much land is available for agricultural use?

"...so relax. We have plenty of space."

This kind of blind optimism is not supported by the facts.

Consider:

1. The world appears to have reached its geological peak oil production at 85 million bpd. The effects of peak may be mitigated by demand destruction (e.g. recession) and conservation but
given the needs of a world's population at over 6 billion on its way to 9 billion by 2050, rapid decline is inevitable.

2. Reports are in the press this week concerning major food shortages in more than 40 countries.This trend will worsen with increasing fossil fuel scarcity. As Dale Allen Pfeiffer explains in his newbook Eating Fossil Fuels, given modern agriculture's dependence on oil and natural gas for farming and production of fertilizer, pesticides, and herbicides, without abundant and cheap fossil fuels we cannot sustain thepopulation at current levels. For long-term sustainability the U.S. population would have to be no greater than 200 million and the world's population no greater than 2 billion - and that is before factoring in the effects of global warming, the growing problem of water scarcity, and significant issues with soil erosion.

3. Overpopulation goes hand in hand with overconsumption. Water scarcity and rapid depletion of important fresh water sources such as the Ogallalla Aquifer point to a U.S. population growth at unsustainable levels. SUCH PROBLEMS IN THE U.S. AND AROUND THE WORLD ARE NO LONGER AMENABLE TO "RESOURCE MANAGEMENT".

4. It is clear that the U.S. and the world is approaching the tipping point with regard to dangerous levels of pollution that are threatening our ecosystem and our long term health. Pollution of the air, water, and land is not simply a function of industrialized society. Large numbers of humans living in crowded and dense populations produce a lot of organic waste that can decimate the local environment and spread disease.

5. Quality of life issues are paramount for most Americans and the issue of overpopulation is the most critical factor for the problems we currently face. With such social crises as nearly 50 million Americans lacking health insurance and millions more underinsured and/or struggling with high deductibles, coinsurance, and copays - it is pure folly to ignore the compounding effect immigration has on this growing problem.

We can try to ignore things like expanding desertification, deforestation, polar bears drowning in areas with rapid ice melt, Chinese peasants rioting over pollution from the rapid expansion the number of coal-based power plants, an increase in respiratory disorders in the U.S. such as asthma and COPD, the rapid extinction of frogs and other many other species, high levels of mercury contamination in fish, the unrelenting spread of AIDS, particularly in Africa and Asia - an so on and so forth. However, one can put his or his head in the sand for only so long.

Commentators such as "Chris" try to discredit warnings about population pressures by pointing to observers who, while slightly off in their timing, are nonetheless reporting empirical truths about the inevitable consequences of exponential population growth on a planet of with finite resources. By making assumptions that since the day of reckoning has not yet come it will never come, the myopics are oblivious to the irony of their unfounded optimism since delaying the correction will only mean that when the correction comes it will be that more devastating.

Dan Stein speaks of the need for responsible stewardship of our society for future generations of Americans. This requires a LONG view that seems to be sorely lacking within an economic and political system that thrives on short-term gain.

Posted by: Cynthia | Oct 17, 2006 12:41:42 AM

Global Warming Update - Twin Cities
10/16/06 Observed high temp - 56
10/16/05 Observed high temp - 68
10/16 Record high temp - 86 - 1938

Madison

Badgers - 48

Gophers - 12

Global Warming Update - Twin Cities
10/15/06 Observed high temp - 62
10/15/05 Observed high temp - 62
10/15 Record high temp - 85 - 1947, 1968

An Experience

Living in Minnesota, Man Fun is often equated with killing things - headin' north to hunt or fish. Most guys I know learned the fine art of massacre from their fathers, who learned it from their fathers.

My father grew up in Elizabeth, NJ. Not a lot of huntin' going on there (although nowadays there are plenty of bullets to dodge), but Dad did fish and he passed that love on to me. However, we were always content to wet a line as an ancillary activity on vacations and never engaged in those destination fishing trips.

As an adult, my Man Fun in most cases involves visiting my alma mater - The University of Wisconsin. When I attended Madison from 1986-1990, the Badger football team won a total of around 10 games and Camp Randall stadium was half-empty. The only reason to go was the boisterous student section, which fed off the energy of the most creatively animated marching band around. (News flash - you can learn more about the band here.)

Things have turned around dramatically since those days - Camp Randall now boasts arguably the best home field advantage in college sports and is a frenzied scarlet sea of drunken fury. Wrap a day of picking your way through the Madison bar scene with a group of old friends around a Badger football game and you get pure Man Fun. (No need for girls on trampolines...)

I'm off to Madison again this weekend to watch the Badgers pound the Minnesota Gophers. The last time the Gophers visited Wisconsin in 2004, Star-Tribune sportswriter Jim Souhan described the experience in his column. Please pardon the long post, but as a professional he paints a picture of the atmosphere that I never could:

Setting just says college football

Jim Souhan
Star Tribune

MADISON, WIS. -- Saturday afternoon, a member of the Gophers football traveling party looked around Camp Randall Stadium and asked, "How do you compete with this?"

He wasn't talking about the Wisconsin football team, which proceeded to beat the Gophers 38-14.

He was talking about the Wisconsin football experience, which established a similar advantage over a college game at the Metrodome.

The Gophers and Badgers played at 2:30 p.m. Saturday, making this football afternoon a morning-to-midnight bash for what seemed like an entire town, making it the best party a visitor has attended in years.

Saturday morning, red-clad fans milled around Camp Randall, fire ants around a sand hill. Somehow, the smells of propane, hot dogs, damp leaves and beer blended into something more pleasing than perfume.

Fans threw footballs on blocked-off streets, an old-fashioned fire wagon carried cheerleaders, and band members carried their instruments through the crowds to the stadium.

Everywhere you looked there were grills and smoke plumes and mobile parties.

Then the game started, and the announced crowd of 83,069 filled every visible seat, with red sweatshirts outnumbering maroon-and-gold outfits about 80 to 1.

Wisconsin has renovated Camp Randall into an impressive structure. The lower bowl seats recall old Lambeau Field, and the luxury suites and offices piled on top of them recall Al Davis' monolithic structure at Oakland Coliseum.

The endzone seats holding the student section are where you want to be. All game the students stood, dancing to music provided by the marching band or the PA system, and the party really started at the end of the third quarter.

"Jump Around" -- the same song played during Anaheim Angels games when the Rally Monkey appears -- prompted these red-clad primates to do just that, and suddenly this massive stadium was shaking, the press box wavering as if it were made of papier mache.

At the end of the game, the Badgers sprinted across the field to take back Paul Bunyan's Axe, the symbol of this rivalry, then sprinted around the field, with Richfield native John Stocco, Wisconsin's quarterback, belying his quiet persona by dancing in front of 80,000 screaming fans.

Then came what Badgers fans call the Fifth Quarter -- another half-hour of fans staying in their seats, listening to the marching band. When a few Minnesotans left the stadium two hours later, the party had moved to the streets, and the band members were carrying their instruments from party to party.

Disregarding the game's result, it was a quintessential college football experience.

Full disclosure: My daughter attends the University of Minnesota, and I have no ties to Wisconsin, other than the payment of a few speeding tickets.

This is not a plea for a new stadium, because I have no more interest in beating that drum than you have in hearing it.

This is part celebration of what Wisconsin has, part lament that Minnesota can't compete in terms of football amenities and atmosphere.

Forget about winning and losing: College football is about atmosphere, and shared experiences, and perfect fall afternoons, and the Metrodome will never be able to compete with places like Camp Randall Stadium in a town like Madison on a pristine November Saturday.

There's room in the car if anyone wants to join us. Otherwise, see you Monday.

On Wisconsin!!!!


Global Warming Update - Twin Cities
10/12/06 Observed high temp - 39
10/12/05 Observed high temp - 62
10/12 Record high temp - 87 - 1975

Denial

Gazing out at the light dusting of snow sprinkled over the suburban landscape and blowing on my hands to limber up my creeky, frigid fingers, I read this, linked from Drudge. An excerpt:

A U.S. based environmental magazine... is now advocating Nuremberg-style war crimes trials for skeptics of human caused catastrophic global warming.

Grist Magazine’s staff writer David Roberts called for the Nuremberg-style trials for the “bastards” who were members of what he termed the global warming “denial industry.”

Roberts wrote in the online publication on September 19, 2006, "When we've finally gotten serious about global warming, when the impacts are really hitting us and we're in a full worldwide scramble to minimize the damage, we should have war crimes trials for these bastards -- some sort of climate Nuremberg.” (http://gristmill.grist.org/print/2006/9/19/11408/1106?show_comments=no )

It's all making sense now... The Google crowd lures "Global Warming Deniers" like me into Blogger Beta, which cuts off our Blogline links to the greater blogging community. Now isolated, no one will notice when the Sierra Club swoops in and whisks us away to northern California for a treetop (endangered) kangaroo (rat) court proceeding, where we're convicted of "crimes against Goddess Gaia" and sentenced to twenty years of a carbon-neutral existence.

Better get these Global Warming updates in while I can still use a computer.

Global Warming Update - Twin Cities
10/11/06 Observed high temp - 48
10/11/05 Observed high temp - 61
10/11 Record high temp - 84 - 1930

The Mayors Make a Bet

Yesterday, the Minnesota Twins opened their playoff run against the Oakland A's. In keeping with tradition, Mayors RT Rybak and Jerry Brown have engaged in a friendly wager between their two cities.

I planned to parody this hackneyed act between two of the most laughable figures in politics (if the A's win, RT will give Jerry a yellow bike, a "US Out of My Uterus" t-shirt and a copy of "Running a City into the Ground for Dummies"; if the Twins win, Jerry gives RT a lock of Kathleen Soliah's armpit hair, a "The Only Bush I Trust is My Own" bumper sticker and a copy of "Idiot's Guide to Making an Unlivable Shithole Even Worse")...

However, truth is sometimes funnier than fiction. From today's Star Tribune:

"...If the Twins win, Brown has promised a bottle of wine, a box of Oakland's Serendipity Chocolate and a copy of Michael Lewis' book "Money Ball..."

(I was tempted to write "Money Shot", but that wouldn't be funny, would it?)

"..If the A's win, Rybak will give two tickets to the Guthrie Theater, a bag of Honeycrisp apples, a six-pack of Summit Beer and a pair of those fuzzy Joe Mauer sideburns."

These two deserve each other.

Global Warming Update - Twin Cities
10/3/06 Observed high temp - 77
10/3/05 Observed high temp - 85
10/3 Record high temp - 90 - 1997